New Years' Dresses

When I was growing up, I hated New Year's Eve. It was an interminable evening of sitting around with my relatives watching TV and waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square. And desperately wishing that I could be at a party, any party. (This is a picture from the New York Times in 1907, but I didn't actually grow up in 1907. It just feels like it.)

The first New Year's Eve party I ever went to was in a trailer in the mountains of West Virginia. It was hosted by a music professor and packed with college students and crazy musicians. There must have been twenty fiddlers and at least as many guitarists playing wild, endless reels as everyone drank and danced into the night. It was the first time I had fun on New Year's Eve, and if I had gone to that same party this year, this dress would have been the perfect outfit.

I didn't go to a really great New Year's Eve party again until 1999. I was spending a year in Athens then, and a friend of mine gave this party in her amazing apartment, which had a huge balcony overlooking the Acropolis. At midnight helicopters flew overhead, people shot guns into the air in celebration, and fireworks went off. Then something went wrong with the fireworks and an immense cloud of black smoke billowed out from the Parthenon. The party was almost all archaeology students, and we should have been horrified, but instead we all thought it was hilarious. And the next morning all the antiquities were still standing. For that party, I wore something similar to this dress in black.

But if I were going to the same party this year, I would wear this one.

After that I started enjoying New Year's Eve. I met Oliver, and we began hosting our own New Year's Eve parties. If we had done that this year, I would have bought this dress to wear to the party. It's on sale!

But instead I had the flu on New Year's Eve. I managed to stay up with Oliver to watch the ball drop. I wore pajamas. And I still had a good time.

The Snake Goddess

This dress of the day from The Fashion Police reminded me how much I like a few tiers or ruffles in a skirt. It also reminded me, however, of the time a few years ago when I interviewed for a teaching job. I was wearing a black suit. My interviewer was wearing something that looked like this:

Oh, yes, seriously. There is a lot of freedom to dress the way you want in my profession, which is one reason I love it. And while I had some trouble focusing in the presence of giant rainbow-colored tiers, I knew the look my colleague was going for, and I sympathized. She had just been inspired by this fashion icon:

The Minoan Snake Goddess. She's one of two little figurines discovered on the island of Crete, made around 16oo BCE. They might be goddesses, or priestesses -- no one really knows much of the details of Minoan culture. (And we won't know until someone manages to translate Linear A. You might want to get on that, Internet.) As far as I'm concerned, the main thing this figurine tells us is that the Minoans had cute outfits. I mean, you probably want to shorten the skirt, lose the apron, and, I don't know, put on a shirt. But once you've done that, this is a totally wearable outfit:


It's just a tiered skirt with a fitted, three-quarter-sleeved jacket. You could add a wide belt if you want to look even more like the Snake Goddess. Cute and trendy!

The other Snake Goddess figurine appears to be wearing live snakes for bracelets.

I would replace them with some snaky jewelry.

(From top left, reading across and down: Itty Bitty Drop Sterling Silver Earrings from Phoebestreasures; Serpent Necklace from Zeba; Ouroboros Ring from PocketandSpark; Vintage Snake Arm Bracelet from Ricracandbuttons; Vintage Etched Snake Clamper Bracelet from Viciousvintage; Brass Wurm from Ragtrader.

I don't recommend wearing a cat on your head, though.

What Amazons Wear

I think Hippolyta is actually a fairly good fashion inspiration. Not Wonder Woman's mother, but the Hippolyta from Greek mythology, the Amazon who had the magical golden girdle.

Like this Amazon, for instance, who appears to be wearing a cute patterned dress over patterned tights. I would totally wear this, although maybe without the helmet and spear. And I think her outfit is supposed to be made of the hides of wild animals -- I would probably go with something like this instead:


I can't believe how much that dress looks like the one in the vase painting! All the sale Milly dresses at Net-a-Porter look like something an Amazon would wear. Sadly, even if I had $400 to spend on a dress, I couldn't fit into any of those sizes.

But the plus-size website Alight has a lot of cute little patterned dresses on sale, like this one.

Ooh! This one looks like a Greek vase and is only $34.99! Must ... not purchase ... Amazon dress ...