Love Story (But With the Tragedy Confined to Fashion Choices)

Generally speaking, Oliver and I are a perfect match. Our personal styles, on the other hand, haven't always been in harmony.

Look at us in high school. Oliver was the ultimate 80s preppie, embracing sweater vests and layered pink and green polo shirts. Meanwhile, I was treating my high school to a parade of countless broomstick skirts and tie-dyed t-shirts. When I wasn't dressing in frumpy denim jumpers and turtlenecks. Either way, you would never have imagined the two of us together.

And then we went to two very, very different colleges.

When we met in grad school, we had settled into more individual styles. Oliver owned so many plaid shirts that once, walking into an Eddie Bauer, I was overcome by the sight of all the mannequins. They looked like a clone army of Olivers. I looked like a Victorian widow.

A few years later, we got teaching jobs, moved to Florida, and started dressing better. Faced with the Florida heat, I've traded in much of my voluminous black for little vintage-style dresses that are light on the fabrics, heavy on the polka dots. Oliver has essentially the same classic style he's always had, just a little more grown-up.

And look! We totally match.

A Fresh New Hellboy

Hellboy 2 is playing at the second-run theater near us, and Oliver and I have been trying to go see it for weeks. Last week, Tropical Storm Fay flooded the theater. Not the whole theater, just the part that was showing Hellboy 2. This week, Indiana Jones opened, and the box office line was about a mile long. We didn't even make the attempt to stand in line. It was clear that there was no way we would get to the last showing of Hellboy 2.

I was very disappointed. I have a deep-seated love of themes, and I like to dress thematically, even if it's just for a movie. For Hellboy 2, I was wearing something very similar to this:



With the corset top, Victorian ring, and my beloved Paraphernalia necklace, I was trying to go for a steampunk look to match the aesthetic of the first Hellboy movie. (It had libraries, monsters, Victorian-looking brass armor, and a battle scene with gears that was the most steampunk thing ever.) Even though steampunk is A. a bit too popular and B. for the Young People. Still, I love Victorian-inspired fashions, and it's not like I was wearing goggles.

The best place by far to find steampunk accessories is on Etsy. Etsy sellers have really embraced the whole concept; I think because it's a good way to use up all the parts of broken watches that they've had lying around forever. I like the look of watch parts best when they're in a simple setting, like this necklace from Rivkasmom:

But the best steampunk things are the art pieces:

A fantastic tabletop orrery, or model of a solar system, from The Builder's Studio.

A paper robot from genius paper artist Crankbunny.

A Victorian-style poster, maybe one with a Satanic look in honor of Hellboy, from Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow.

Or I was very, very tempted by this print, which really is from the early 1900s and was made for a French board game.

Any one of those would ease the pain of missing Hellboy 2. Or more specifically, the pain of having to wear an outfit that was completely inappropriate for Tropic Thunder. I tried to explain this to Oliver as we drove to the other, expensive movie theater. "My outfit won't match the movie," I said in a pitiful voice. Oliver looked at me. "I don't see how that matches Hellboy anyway," he said. "You look like someone from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen." This cheered me up completely. Internet, I love Oliver.

Hello, Internet

Me: Honey, I've decided to write a blog about things.

Oliver: Um, OK ... what things?

Me: Clothes, necklaces, other things I want to buy.

Oliver: Like a shopping list.

Me: Yes, but I won't actually buy anything on the list.

Oliver: So ... like a completely pointless shopping list.

Me: Yes! That I post on the web. What should I call it?

Oliver: It's about fashion, right? So it should reflect your style. Hmm ... The Sexy Librarian.

Me: NO.

Oliver: The Busty Professor. The Buxom --

Me: Oliver! It's not a porn site!

Oliver: Well, you teach mythology; what about something classical? Hippolyta's Girdle.

Me: Ooh, that's kind of cool. But everyone's still going to think it's a porn site.

Oliver: Everyone's going to think it's about foundation garments. Or ... hippos.